I live in a neighborhood with cul-de-sacs, wide shared driveways and parking lots. As a matter of fact, in the condo/townhouse complex where I live, we have plenty of green space, playgrounds, bike paths and sidewalks-but the young children are often playing unsupervised in the parking lot…
I know that this reality isn’t isolated to my neighborhood. For some reason, either parents think that parking lots are a safe place for kids to play, or kids just gravitate to them as open spaces and parents are not intervening. When my own children were little bike-riders, parking lots and shared driveways, not to mention the street (even if it was a cul-de-sac) were off limits as unsupervised play areas. I don’t know how many times I have watched cars speed through or trucks pull in and even though many drivers are on the look-out-most playing children are not.
The other day, I noticed two small boys (six or seven) crouched down around a big puddle right outside my house in the parking lot. As a high, tall truck came swerving into the lot, I ran outside to call the boys over to the sidewalk. No parents in sight and we could have easily had a horrible accident had neither the driver nor the children seen each other.
I know that parking lots and slower streets seem like the perfect place for bike riding, skating, and other neighborhood games, but are they really? At least having a parent supervising the activity would make it a little safer, but I still maintain that this is really no place for young children to be playing. It may seem like an open space, but it really is a parking lot with cars coming and going to most people-and most drivers are not expecting to have to contend with playing children when they drive through a lot.
My eldest daughter (who will be 18 in just a few short months) went on her first day trip out of town with a friend driving a week or so ago. I know it sounds as though I am a nervous Nellie of a mom-but I wasn’t really ready to let that happen!
There are so many horror stories, and so many teenage driving accidents! The protective mother in me really doesn’t want to believe that my baby and all her baby friends are actually old enough and responsible enough to drive 65 miles away to spend a day at the beach. Never mind that I am pretty sure my daughter is not into drinking and such (at least that one isn’t) and they are reasonably responsible, mature, “kids”-it is still so incredibly hard to let go and allow such a grand adventure. I also know in my head that there isn’t really much “allowing” for me to do. If my daughter is going to be ready to take on the world as an independent adult in a matter of months (and not years), there really isn’t anything I can or should do to hold her back.
Still…cars, kids, winding roads, safety. I was not ready. They did fine. They wore their seatbelts and took plenty of pictures with the digital camera so I could see them having good wholesome fun with their picnic on the beach and the building of a fort out of drift wood. And, I know in my heart of hearts that I cannot protect and shelter her from all risk and danger for the entirety of her life. I learned that lesson years ago-or at least I thought I had! I don’t really want to keep them tied to the apron strings forever, but I don’t want them to become a teenage statistic either-ah, the dance of gradually letting go and letting them grow up!
Staying in hotel alone with a young child presents several unique problems. For instance, whenever I need to go anywhere I have to take Tyler with me. If I need ice, or need to run to the snack machine or even downstairs to my car, he has to come with me. Or does he?
He put this question to me last week when I needed to run to my car. He was involved in one of his TV programs and didn’t want to leave (or put his shoes on for that matter) to slog downstairs with me. “I’ll be okay,” he whined. I was tempted to let him stay while I ran downstairs but my common sense told me this was a bad idea. I told him that I couldn’t leave him alone. I told him about the child who disappeared from her hotel room after her parents left her alone. I didn’t want this to happen to him. He promised not to unlock the door for anyone but who knows what he would do. If someone coaxed him into opening the door, they could easily take him into their room and hurt him. Especially if that someone had been watching us and knew that we were alone.
So against his protest I drag him wherever I have to go. I have relaxed somewhat when we’re out in public but not too much. Tyler is still sort of trusting and oblivious that bad people exist in the world. He understands in theory but I think he believes nothing bad will happen to him. We were at Walmart Saturday and he had to go to the restroom. We were waiting for his turn to get his hair cut so I couldn’t leave and his father had gone to the car to put Tyler’s birthday presents up. I could see the restroom from where I was but I didn’t really want him to go in there alone. He wants to use the men’s restroom now. He will come into the ladies restroom with me if we both have to go but otherwise he wants to go alone. Some places I feel okay with this others…
Anyway, I let him go and it seemed like he was taking a long time to come back. When I walked over to the restroom he was playing by the water fountain. I chastised him for not coming right back but again, he didn’t see the big deal.
I have actually opened the door to the men’s room when I felt he was in there too long. Yep, I opened the door at Winn Dixie right at the exact time a gentlemen was shall I say using the facilities. But I didn’t care. Again, it was one of those times when he seemed like he was taking an awful long time.
I don’t consider myself to be overly protective. Some might. You don’t want to scare your kids and make them feel that they aren’t safe but I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Shopping for gifts for kids just got a little bit harder. In a test of over 1200 toys, 35% contained lead, including a Hannah Montana card game and a Go Diego Go! backpack. The tests were performed by a coalition of environmental groups and is available for perusal here.
Of the toys tested a mere 20% had no trace of lead or other harmful chemicals. 23 of the toys listed had been recalled this year. Jewelry products were among the toys most likely to contain high levels of lead. Federal standards dictate that a toy should not contain more than 600 parts per million (ppm), the Hannah Montana card game came in at a whopping 3,056 ppm! According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 40 ppm is the recommended level of lead for any product. Lead poisoning can cause learning disabilities, behavioral problems, seizures, coma and death.
The recent rash of recalls makes me want to give everyone a good book and call it a day. This year for Christmas Tyler has already been warned not to expect a bunch of toys. Instead he’s getting big ticket items. For instance, he’s getting a new TV for his new room and a computer. I bought him a few odds and ends months ago and that’s basically it. Christmas is becoming too commercial anyway. And when you add the stress of having to figure out if the toy is safe, well, I don’t think it’s really worth all of the added stress. Maybe we should go back to handmade gifts. Or what about no gifts at all? Seriously, I was reading about a couple who instead of buying gifts for their kids, use the money they would have spent to take the family on nice trips instead. Perhaps skiing, or renting a house on the lake. The point is they get together as a family and they have fun. The couple pointed out they are less stressed because they don’t have to worry about buying gifts that the recipient may not like in the first place.